The end of the school year ate my brain.

I think I haven’t done anything but godforsaken paperwork in about 100,000 years, or at least since the last ice age when mammoths roamed the Altabaska. Today, at long last, I did not bring any work home to do this weekend. I might even get out the paints…but wait…wouldn’t that mean I am turning into a human being again? Oh, happy day!

Unabashed pirate geekery FTW.

This past Saturday Simone and I dressed as pirates, and took the public bus to the mall.  After we were done robbing and pillaging the local Starbucks for a nonfat chai and kid’s chocolate milk, we partook in a fan event to celebrate the release of Pirates of the Caribbean:  On Stranger Tides.  Needless to say, as mega-fans of this franchise, both of us had a great time.  I had heard rumors that they might have a special advance screening of the movie, but nothing was guaranteed.

There was a huge line going right past the door of Starbuck’s leading to who-knows-where, going all the way around a corner of the mall.  Since the line was full of people in full-on pirate regalia, we knew that was the line for us.  After waiting for a few minutes, we rounded the corner and saw a little table where girls were checking names off a guest list and handing out yellow and white wristbands and gift bags.  Cranky old lady:  “Are you on the list?”  Me:  “No, but we’re available to see the screening anyway, so it’s ok for you to give us everything.”  Cranky old lady looks at me.  She looks at Simone.  Then she smiles.  “Well, of course you can.  You’re dressed as pirates.  You get to sit in the VIP section.”  First score of the afternoon.

A slightly more cheerful girl motions us down to the end of the table and starts handing us stuff.  She literally gave us so much crap our hands could not hold it all, and I could not get it into my non-piratey Banana Republic bag fast enough.  Each of us got a bunch of publicity cards, tattoos, stickers, postcards, and four bottles of POTC-themed OPI nail polish.  Then, we took another ten steps and got numerous free samples of Pirates Booty snacks.  Does anyone sense a theme here?

There was a table set up with some cool souvies for sale.  I bought Simone some pins when another, even more cheerful staff member comes up and asks Simone if she’d like to compete in a pirate costume contest.  Of course, she says yes and is quickly shanghaied onto a stage with a bunch of other people.  Some random DJ from some random, crappy New York City radio station proceeds to run the costume contest by having people step forward while the audience cheers and yells “Arrgh!”  and “Avast!  There be a pirate!  Now pass the rum!!!!1!”  Simone came in second place, with only a slightly lower decibel level than the winner.  I have to say, there were some awesome kits on these people.  I am now on fire to make my own, super-historically accurate (ok, maybe semi-sorta accurate) pirate kit for festivals and looting.  For her second place prize, Simone was again led away through the crowd to a table full POTC action figure sets and told to pick whatever she wanted.  She picked a tiny Captain Jack and a plastic, 18th-century style paddy wagon in which she can imprison the mini Captain Jack.

Assorted other piratey stuff went on, including a group sing-along of “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate’s Life for Me.”  They handed out a song sheet, but I’ve been on the Disney ride so many times I didn’t need to look.

Eventually, a publicity guy got all the pirate VIPs to line up.  He took us all over the mall and posed all the costume contest people in front of a bunch of movie props in different places.  Were people staring?  Well, would you stare if a hundred or so pirates came through when you were enjoying a quiet evening of shopping?

Finally, we were ushered into the massive IMAX theatre, given free popcorn and drinks, and the movie started.  Everyone had an all around great time.  Lots of cheering and laughing throughout.  Thumbs up for the film without a doubt, but then again I would watch Johnny Depp sleeping in a recliner for two hours and rave about it.  We are probably going to go see it again when it really comes out next weekend.  Sword fighting, explosions, zombies, attractive people of all genders, adventure, cool costumes, cream puffs…  Yarrgh!

Sneakiest (and shortest) pirate to sail the seven seas.

Wandering…

I like to wander around places and seldom stop to talk to anyone.  There is always something to look at; it makes me a little bit sad to think that no one will ever notice the moss under the trees or the flick of the mockingbird’s tail.  Then I snap out of it and realize I’m not all that special.

A couple of things I noticed this morning…

I’m still on vacation for another four or five days.  As I sit here in my favorite, falling apart chair trying to figure out what to do with myself today, I realized two things.  One, I have muscles in my back.  And they hurt.  Yesterday I did P90x legs and back for the first time.  One straight hour of squats, lunges, and pull-ups.  The one-leg squats made me curse like a sailor, but it’s the pull-ups and pull-downs that are still with me today.

The other thing I am learning today is about my parakeet, Bob.  He has recently decided he likes to dig in the dirt of the geranium pots I have on the window.  As I write, he is walking around in the pot, tasting the edges of the stoneware.  He stays away from all the edible herbs and goes straight for the geraniums every time.  Spring planting, the best thing that ever happened to this bird.

Camping, sort-of.

Stacked up canoes.

Pretty lake, around which we hiked and got all muddy.

So, this past weekend mini-me and I went camping right here in New Jersey.  The place had yurts.  I have wanted to sleep in a real, honest-to-goodness canvas-sided yurt since forever.  Maybe I’m trying to channel my inner Genghis Khan.

We left home to some sprinkles, arrived to a decent spring rain.  As the day wore on it started to pour like the Biblical flood.  We weren’t going to get to sleep in a yurt after all.  The people at the camp we were using directed us to a lovely lodge with a bathroom, stone fireplace, and a cool little spiral staircase leading up to a lookout on the roof.

The next day, the Ark had failed to arrive, and it stopped raining.  There was a creek next to the lodge which was just about to overflow its banks.  The noise sounded just like Route 4 in Paramus.  So much for peace and quiet, and all that.

Moss on a rock, looking like the surface of some faraway planet.

The almost overflowing creek.

Hello world!

Hello hypothetical readers.  I am starting this blog to chronicle my life.  I want to force myself to write like I used to.  It’s just way to easy to succumb to the television, telephone, or general sloth.